I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
