Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing