OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
The convent might be a nice break from real life