i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
