let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
