I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
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