That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
