i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
