Got a toothbrush?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
