Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Randomize
