dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
operation harelip BJ is a go
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
