I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
