I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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