Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
