Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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