So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
