we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
