Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My balls are so social today.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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