I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
is wine microwaveable?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way