When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."