i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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