Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
