I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize