So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
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