she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
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I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
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Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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