When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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