please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
In other news, I just burned my penis
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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