he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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