So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
