Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
