I think I am morally bankrupt
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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