if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
