you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Randomize
