FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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