Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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