my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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