Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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