How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
