K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
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His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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