the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize