you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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