how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
