i permit you to call me
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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