Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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