If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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