I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My dick has a subreddit
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm like, not good at living.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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