All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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