At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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