i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
