If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
