1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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