the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
operation harelip BJ is a go
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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