If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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