he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
