if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
