I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
