I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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