Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
