Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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