Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
