the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
