Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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