Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
