U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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